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The Feeling of......
And I don't know what to call this feeling.
If this is a feeling of regret or a feeling of nervousness, or
if it's even a feeling at all. I've never in my life have felt this.
It pulls me back and forth emotion after another.
Can anything in our lives ever go right? Is it just an
act when I see or hear people say "My life is so great!"
Can it really be? I've seen nothing but disappointments, and
let downs, is there an upside to all this? And if there is,
what is it? Where is it?

Planning to move to another state has probably been the highlight
of my life. Let's see how it goes there.
I am literally sick of it here, in this place and having
absolutely having nothing to stay here for. Maybe this
is why I am upset all the time. How I can pick up and leave
so easily because I've never have been able to before.
DO i sound whiney? Haha I'm really sorry. It's just that
when I expect this person to be there for me, they aren't, like
they've always done.
So I have to sit here and sort out my thoughts myself.

I have always been able to describe how i feel through writing,
through typing whatever. I can't right now though. I don't know
what words to use. I'm so mad at some people. I'm so hurt
by some. I'm so disgusted by some. And some I'm moved by all
three! I need to get my head on straight because I usually
don't blame other people for my whatever this is. I do this
to myself. We all get ourselves to this place. do we
make it go away?

Then there is that feeling of Love.
The kind that the sight of their faces makes
your heart want to bust out in song. Haha
but i won't go there because it's actually not Love
if it's not mutual.


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